I just got called by a company to provide a charcater reference for my close, personal friend Nils. Oh, Nils. You should know better than to ask me for a reference.
Don’t worry, though. I wouldn’t provide the exact same reference I gave for a different close, personal friend. I developed an entirely different set of comments to provide. Take your pick:
1. I’ve know Nils ever since we did the convenience store job together.
2. Nils? That backstabbing, treacherous, black-hearted bastard. I’ll never forgive him for what he did to me. Never!
3. Well, I don’t mean to impugn his character, but the FBI called just a minute ago with the same question.
4. Oh yeah, Nils is a great guy. He only sells the best-quality shit.
5. Tell him I still want that 500 bucks he owes me.