Tag Archives: children

Attention whore

I have a confession to make to everyone: I am an attention whore. Please look at me. I love to be noticed. It’s the remedy for what ails me. You see, as New Jerseyans, we live like ships at sea, … Continue reading

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Your mom joke revisited

The girls were in the back seat, hitting each other with one “your mom” joke after another, when their mother objected. Such humor is rude, puerile and not what we expect from them, she reminded them. The 7-year-old didn’t miss … Continue reading

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Woe, woe to the inabiters of the earth!

I’ve found that it helps the girls to get moving in the morning if they have music to listen to. It doesn’t matter if it’s Pete Seeger, The Beatles, Joan Baez, Bob Dylan or someone else. With Evangeline especially, it … Continue reading

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Go to sleep

It’s eleven o’clock. Bedtime was two hours ago. You do not need another drink of water. There is nothing so urgent to tell us that it can’t wait until morning. You were not sleepwalking. You are just out of bed. … Continue reading

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Ewww…

Evangeline is working on homework right now. Among her phrases: 1)┬áThe heart I broke. She specified it was broken with her bare hands; i.e., it was taken from someone’s chest first — and she has never seen “Temple of Doom.” … Continue reading

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A prayer for the Sea Monkey

O Lord, Some times you do things that make me wonder if you’re paying attention, or if you’ve fallen asleep at the wheel. I scarcely know what I’m doing with the two children Niki and I already have, and now … Continue reading

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Work needed in the planning department

Niki told me today that she is five days late. Last time this happened was February 2002. We didn’t plan Ruth. Before that, it was February 1999. We didn’t plan Eowyn either. The only thing different this time is that … Continue reading

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The dolumb principle

My 9-year-old has mastered the concept of making language a barrier to communication. As someone who has learned the words to Malvina Reynolds’ song “Little Boxes” — without ever even hearing of the TV show “Weeds” — she has become … Continue reading

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Life in the music bubble

We love music in our household. We sing on the way to school in the morning, whether we’re driving or walking; we sing after dinner for family devotions; and often we sing just because it lightens the load, lifts the … Continue reading

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Good night, moon

Today I liquefied my brain and removed it through a hole I had drilled in my skull, then filled the skull cavity with epoxy. Well, no, not really, but that’s about what it felt like. What actually happened is that … Continue reading

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