Thor, goddess of thunder

So have you heard the latest about Thor?

Thor, the Marvel superhero who comes straight from the Elder Edda and other remnants of Norse mythology, is about to get a makeover in the biggest possible way. This is bigger than the time he grew a beard to hide the scars given him by Hela, and bigger than the convoluted story where Eric Masterson and Thor got fused together, split and refused.

It’s even bigger than the time Beta Ray Bill actually picked up Mjolinir and the world discovered that somebody else could be worthy of the power of Thor.

Yes, folks, this is the big one.

Thor is becoming a woman.

“This is not She-Thor,” writer Jason Aaron said in a statement. “This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is Thor. This is the Thor of the Marvel Universe. But it’s unlike any Thor we’ve ever seen before.”

Um … no. Thor is not a woman. As long as the mythology has been around, Thor has been a short-tempered, war hammer-swinging unsophisticated Viking, and his mythology predates even the gospels.

Even if we discount the mythology — difficult to do, given the way that Walt Simonson incorporated it so definitively into the comic book in the early 1980s — the Marvel Comics property has been around for 50 years, and he’s always been a man.

Please, Marvel, if you can’t show some respect for your source material, at least show some respect for the continuity and the brand you’ve built since 1961. Making Thor into a woman is only slightly less brilliant than making Doctor Octupus into Spider-man, and you can probably guess what I thought of that.

I can understand wanting a series that features a strong female character who actually wears clothes, but this isn’t the way to do it. If you want to tap Norse myth, Marvel already has several established characters like Sif and Valkyrie, not to mention the Enchantress and her sister Lorelei. (Or even Hela, if Marvel actually wants to be edgy by telling a comic centered on its most femme fatale character, instead of relying on cheap stunts like turning Thor into a woman and making a Red Hulk.)

Other great female characters include Spider-Woman, the Wasp, She-Hulk, Jocasta, Storm, Rogue, or even Squirrel Girl. (She exists, look her up.)

You can’t have a character based off of legitimate mythology or religion and then do a gender swap, and expect it to be well-received. Especially in an audience of comic book geeks, who’re probably the nit-pickiest motherfuckers on the planet.

I’m curious, but I don’t really like the idea, even with the potential for interesting statements on gender and trans themes.  There has never been a hint of gender dysphoria in Thor throughout his entire history. This is simply upending the character.

Don’t mistake this for a fa’s opposition to seeing change in a beloved character. Steve Rogers recently stepped down as Captain America and gave the shield to Sam Wilson. I think that sort of legacy character turnover makes for good storytelling — although I give him only two or three years before Steve Rogers returns.

Again.

I wonder when the comics companies will get sick of playing this game?