I just read a post on Whisper by a foster parent who is terrified he is going to lose his foster son of nearly a year. Commentators are bashing the poor man for trying to steal someone else’s child, and lecturing him on the differences between adoption (permanent) and fostering (temporary).
People can be such sanctimonious dickheads.
Every foster parent knows that such an arrangement is temporary. What these people are missing is that love is forever. When you lose a foster child, the pain is as real as if you were losing your own child.
The last thing any grieving parent needs is for some pretentious asshole with a stick up their ass telling them to get over it, that the foster child wasn’t really their kid, or otherwise invalidating their grief. Ignoring their grief is also inexcusably cold.
There is one and only one response to someone’s grief that is acceptable, and that is to hold them in your arms, let them cry, and tell them you are sorry for their loss. It is not necessary to understand, only to show empathy.
These wounds don’t heal. For God’s sake, how can people be so cruel that they would make them worse?
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