Tim Nussbaumer and his imaginary sister

So for the past two or three weeks, all I’ve heard about from my close, personal friend Tim Nussbaumer is his sister. She’s moved to Philadelphia, she’s so progressive that I’d be a Neanderthal next to her. She’s a Level 12 intelligence. She’s coming to visit this weekend.

Sunday comes and she’s not around. Today, Tim says that she had to go back to Philadelphia “early.” Suddenly, she seems a lot like Tim’s brother “who lives in Switzerland” whom no one has met, talked with, or even seen pictures of.

I think it’s time for Tim to come clean and leave behind these games of pretend. It’s okay to be an only child.