Tag Archives: Summer of Monsters

Summer of Monsters: Chronivore

Posted on September 1, 2022 by maradanto

“Teach us to number our days aright,” the psalmist writes. “Our years are but threescore and ten, or 80, if we have the strength. Scripture attributes the puzzling inability to tell the difference between 70 and 80 to Moses, a … Continue reading →

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Summer of Monsters: Dried apricots

Posted on August 29, 2022 by maradanto

Not all monsters have claws or razor-sharp teeth. For some their danger lies in their unassuming and unthreatening appearance. Chief among these is the dried apricot. An apricot might seem an unlikely menace, and in truth there is little to … Continue reading →

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Summer of Monsters: Boanthropes

Posted on August 28, 2022 by maradanto

The boanthropes are coming back. Boanthropy is a condition that causes those so afflicted to switch between human and bovine forms. This is a precarious situation as boanthropes regularly are mistaken for cows and even believe themselves to be cows … Continue reading →

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Summer of Monsters: Avianthrope

Posted on August 24, 2022 by maradanto

Monster, or medical condition? That’s the question we’re asking today, and we’re letting you decide. An avianthrope is a person who suffers from a particular kind of involuntary metamorphosis, an affliction that leaves their bodily form in a state of … Continue reading →

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Summer of Monsters: Fox’s weaver

Posted on August 17, 2022 by maradanto

“Fear is that thing with feathers, that shivers in the soul,” wrote Emily Dickinson, and although most scholars agree she had the bananaquit in mind when she wrote those infernal lines, there is a good case to be made she … Continue reading →

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Summer of Monsters: Alkonost

Posted on August 15, 2022 by maradanto

Our story begins in 1990. Thanks to glasnost and the reforms heralded by former Soviet premier Mikhail Gorbachev, Russian culture was awash with music from the West. Eager to tap into this wave of rock music and yet still present … Continue reading →

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Summer of Monsters: Phoenix

Posted on August 8, 2022 by maradanto

First things first: Phoenix tastes like chicken. Roast chicken, to be specific. That’s because the phoenix is the only type of poultry known to cook itself. Ducks rarely set themselves on fire, owing to the ponds they live in; chickens … Continue reading →

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Summer of Monsters: Lizard people

Posted on August 6, 2022 by maradanto

If you’re near San Jose, Calif., take some time to explore some of the caves and you may discover the ruins of an ancient civilization from before the dawn of time. No, we’re not talking about Atlantis, nor Lemuria, nor … Continue reading →

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Summer of Monsters: Genies

Posted on August 4, 2022 by maradanto

It used to be a lucrative thing to be a genie, in the good old days. A typical genie once took home the equivelant of $30 and even $35 an hour through full-time employment as local and household deities, or … Continue reading →

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Summer of Monsters: Centaur

Posted on August 2, 2022 by maradanto

Half-man, half-beast is a common theme among monsters: satyrs, fauns, minotaurs, Kevin and (of course) centaurs. Centaurs are Exhibit A on what happens if you let evolution run wild and don’t check in every few thousand years to make sure … Continue reading →

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