I want to tell you, it’s okay to be anxious right now.
The world has been turned sideways the past week, and every day it’s become more askew. Schools are closed, businesses are closed, and no one has any idea how long this will last. Our routines have flown out the window, and it’s hard for a lot of us to have confidence in our leaders, especially when they have a history of lying and misrepresenting things.
Don’t beat yourself up. Your anxiety is normal. It does not reflect a lack of faith, or courage, or other virtues.
If there were a bear at the door, you would know what to do. You would quickly get out of its way, move your family to safety, and then assess the situation calmly and rationally. Maybe you’d kill the bear, maybe you’d leave it alone until it left your house. Maybe you’d do something else. But the bear would be a real threat, and you’d have a real response.
But this bear isn’t real. You hear it at the door, you can see the door starting to splinter as the bear strikes it, and you can smell 600 pounds of angry bear — but there’s nothing there.
We’re not built to fight things that aren’t real, and that’s why you feel anxious right now.
There are a couple things you can do. If you’re having an actual anxiety attack, try some breathing exercises.
Take deep, slow breaths and count to 20 while your body relaxes.
Practice yoga, ride a bike or go for a walk outside if it’s warm enough.
Plant your garden, if that’s your thing.
But talk about how you’re feeling too, with your family, with friends, with other adults you know. It’s easier to face uncertainty when you know you’re not alone.
Take time to understand the bear outside your door and why it’s upsetting you. The sooner you understand it, the sooner you’ll know what you’re worried about, and the sooner you’ll start figuring out strategies for dealing with it effectively.
Talk to your children. Chances are good that they feel anxious too. Their daily routines also have been shaken, and many of the structures that they know and understand are missing. They’re not seeing their friends, they’re not going to school, and all their activities and clubs have been canceled.
Let them talk about what’s bothering them; or, if they’re younger, encourage them to draw a picture of it. While I wouldn’t lie and promise that everything will soon return to normal, you can get them thinking of ways to face their anxieties too, and draw pictures of that too.
Be honest with them. Tell them that it’s okay to feel uncertain about the days ahead of us. Let them know that you’re concerned too, but tell them what gives you hope, and reassure them that whatever comes, you’ll face it together.
Copyright © 2020 by David Learn. Used with permission.
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